<Theme Music>
Helen: Oooh my giddy aunt. I feel queer...
<Dramatic music>
Helen: Argh!
<Helen falls off the sofa>
Helen: Jim! Help me!
<Martin Daniels rushes in...>
Martin: Helen, are you all right?
Helen: Jim... Where's Jim...
Martin: He's dead you dozy twit. He buggered off years ago.
Helen: What...
<Feel the quality drama here...>
Helen: Jim's dead?
<Dramatic music: major climax model>
Helen: Argh
<She has a heart attack and falls off the sofa again despite the fact that she was still on the floor. Harold Wilson enters the room... through a door!>
Harold W: Martin! I came as quickly as I could.
Martin: Poo! <Waves hands to get rid of the stink> Who the hell are you?
Harold W: Harold Wilson. They wanted Harold Bishop but it was decided that I'd be cheaper...
<Damatic music goes for the second climax. Martin looks confused.>
Martin: But who is <Climax reached> Harold Bishop?
<Theme music starts>
Ah, the episode where it all begins. Cos it's the beginning. And it naturally starts with Helen Daniels.
A lynchpin of the programme, Helen Daniels always seemed to be getting into trouble and I'm sure that, more than once, she fell off a sofa.
But is more noticeable is the mysterious arrival of "Martin Daniels" and "Harold Wilson", both who appeared in the script pretty much cos I got names mixed up. Martin Daniels was supposed to be Philip Martin but I got mixed uo, whilst Harold Wilson was there because I momentarily muttered the wrong name and decided using a now-deceased prime minister would be funny.