Negbores Episode 1

<Theme Music>

Helen: Oooh my giddy aunt. I feel queer...

<Dramatic music>

Helen: Argh!

<Helen falls off the sofa>

Helen: Jim! Help me!

<Martin Daniels rushes in...>

Martin: Helen, are you all right?

Helen: Jim... Where's Jim...

Martin: He's dead you dozy twit. He buggered off years ago.

Helen: What...

<Feel the quality drama here...>

Helen: Jim's dead?

<Dramatic music: major climax model>

Helen: Argh

<She has a heart attack and falls off the sofa again despite the fact that she was still on the floor. Harold Wilson enters the room... through a door!>

Harold W: Martin! I came as quickly as I could.

Martin: Poo! <Waves hands to get rid of the stink> Who the hell are you?

Harold W: Harold Wilson. They wanted Harold Bishop but it was decided that I'd be cheaper...

<Damatic music goes for the second climax. Martin looks confused.>

Martin: But who is <Climax reached> Harold Bishop?

<Theme music starts>

Behind the Scenes

Ah, the episode where it all begins. Cos it's the beginning. And it naturally starts with Helen Daniels.

A lynchpin of the programme, Helen Daniels always seemed to be getting into trouble and I'm sure that, more than once, she fell off a sofa.

But is more noticeable is the mysterious arrival of "Martin Daniels" and "Harold Wilson", both who appeared in the script pretty much cos I got names mixed up. Martin Daniels was supposed to be Philip Martin but I got mixed uo, whilst Harold Wilson was there because I momentarily muttered the wrong name and decided using a now-deceased prime minister would be funny.


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