Conversations With Myself The Day Of Saint Valentine

Roses Tequila! It makes me happy!

Does it?


Then why sing that it does?

I'm trying to cheer myself up.

Oh. Why?

Well, you know how many Valentine's cards I sent out this year?


How did you know?

I am Andrew the All Knowing

Well Andrew The All Knowing, perhaps you can tell me how many I received.


Why didn't I get any?

Cos you're a sad git with no friends who sits around talking to himself.

Well that could be a good reason I suppose.

As good as any.

I don't know why we bother with it myself.

Well I suppose it could be a handy excuse to make a move on someone you really fancy.

And what if you're going out with someone?

If you're a bloke then there's a bloomin' good reason to bother. Your other half will probably kill you.


Cos they believe in all that crap.

I've noticed.

It's ridiculous. The number of men who don't see the point in Valentine's day at all who get hounded by their respective wives and girlfriends if the women don't get umpteen million pearls and diamonds as well as the chance to pig out at some fancy restaurant ALL at the expense of their poor gullible bloke.

Yes but surely Valentine's day is a day where people celebrate their love for each other?

Yes but you can do that any day. You don't have to tell someone that you love them only on Valentine's day. There is no reason on this earth why you can't be romantic on any other day of the year and lets face it, if you do something amazingly romantic on any other day then it's going to mean a hell of a lot more then than if you did it on Valentine's day when people might just assume that you did something just because it was Valentine's day. The fact is that you don't need St Valentine's Day to tell someone that you love them and if you do then there's something seriously wrong with your relationship.

And your argument has nothing at all to do with the fact that blokes seem to end up spending far more money on Valentine's Day than women who seem to have this belief that men should pay for everything?

Of course not.

I thought so...

Background Information

If there's anything on this site that is like a personal manifesto, it's this piece! It sums up my views on the matter pretty clearly.

It's a view that many find a little difficult to comprehend. When I mention that I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, the usual response is "And just what does Catherine think?" As it happens, we're both in agreement.

This was first published on Planet Bods in 11 May 1999.

Photo Credit

Roses photograph by Elaine with Grey Cats, and released under a Creative Commons license.


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