Negbores Episode 17

Announcer: Due to cutbacks at John Munday Television, we are unable to bring you the tedious recap for tonight's episode of Negbores. Stop cheering back there.

<Theme tune - stops half way though.>

Announcer: Actually we lied.

<Theme tune continues. Cut to shed where we see Paul, Madge and Helen.>

Paul: I should have known not to trust you... One minute you're all "Yes Paul. I'll help you get back the hotel..." The next you're stood over me with a tube, draining the force out of every part of my body. <Menacingly, accompanied by dramatic music> You will suffer for this Madge Bishop... YOU WILL SUFFER!

Madge: Suffer? Because of YOUR incompetence???

Paul: MY incompetence???

Madge: Yes. If you hadn't swindled the government of something about ten years ago, then you would never have had to flee to South America, and then you wouldn't have needed to be invisible to avoid detection in an attempt to slip back into the country.

Paul: Well that shows how much you know! It was not ME who swindled them. It was BOUNCER!

Madge: <Aghast> Bouncer?

Paul: Yes. Bouncer. The cute, lovable dog. But what you didn't know all a long was that bouncer was really the head of Pacific Corp in disguise in order to spy on me so that they could frame me and steal my hotel and restaurant and replace my office with a doctors surgery!

Madge: Oh screw you. I'm going home <Points both fingers in one direction at her side.

Paul: Haha! That's where your wrong! There is no door in that direction!

<In a fit of rage, Madge picks up a vase that conveniently just happens to be plonked on a table nearby, and rushes towards Paul. She whacks it over his head. The cartoon style legend WHAM! appears on screen. Helen looks up and casually strolls over to the door as Paul finds a vacuum cleaner and rams it into Madge's stomach.>

Helen: Well screw the both of you. I'm going home.

<Helen slips out of the door. We cut to outside, where we see Harold approaching the door cautiously. Helen runs into him. Well runs isn't quite right. More hobbles really...>

Harold: Arh. Helen. Nice to see you. What's going on in there? Helen:Oh the usual. It was my kidnap den, then someone died then someone else was brought back to life then someone ceased to be invisible. Have you got an easel by the way?

<Harold checks his pockets>

Harold: Not on me no.

Helen: Oh that's a shame. I haven't done any painting for ages...

<Cue theme tune>


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