The Hydra Files Corporal Punishment (Edition 6)

Ha! Thought you'd got rid of me, eh? Well sorry, but Bods is back, with the Corps. And I would have been here last issue if I hadn't had disappeared. Yes folks, the Corporal was submitted, but disappeared. Might have something to do with a scathing attack I made, or it could be that Jenny just lost it. Anyway, the best of the last one is here, and some other stuff, including my response to BSE and beef. Eat it. It's nice, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

This is a Hydra Political Announcement on behalf of the Fair Treatment of Cows Association. Eat beef. It's very nice. Warning! Not eating beef is discriminating against cows!

Ever noticed that few people care about the no eating rule in the hall (I refuse to call it Private Study Area on principle! I don't think Mrs MacDonald would want me standing on her. I'm rather heavy.) Rules are there to be broken! However other, more important, rules being broken like the smoking in the toilets, and even better, I have seen women in the gents! Hmm, it's a bit sad if someone can't even tell what the little signs on the doors mean. The one with a triangle below her waist, is a women, the ones with two lines instead is a man. So there you go.

Right. As you may know, I am a veteran at this Hydra thing. That said, I am going to review the way that they handled last issue. Bear in mind that none of them had even read Hydra when they volunteered to do their first issue, which was the last one published. Cover: Interesting. Editorial: in the right place. Reviews: review of Aladdin, excellent, though I preferred Widow Twanky to Wishy Washy, who was, frankly, rather naff. Sport: You got some! Well done! That's better than we did in our last few issues! Personals: didn't stick a pic of Mr Spock in them. Good. Quality: Good. Credits to Ted and Chris especially, none to anyone who nicked my ideas. However, there are some classic bits of Hydra missing: The lists of after-shaves for men! The letters page! The Credits list! Yes you forgot to mention those wonderful people in repro. Mark sulks if you don't credit him. All these quality articles missing. What were you playing at? Congrats anyway to the new team. Bear this in mind, no matter what anyone says, our Valentine issue last year was only 32 pages.

Which leaves me to say a big BYE, 'cos this is my last issue. I'm off to do these A-Level exam things shortly. Apparently I'll have to do something called revision? Revision? What is the meaning of this word? According to the New Age Psychotic Dictionary, it means somet done by swotty people, SO NER?. My 'revision' consists of heading up to the local ale house and downing some beavies. Do you much better in the long run.

To finish, I'll just have to say this: Jenny, when you have too much to drink again, have a rethink about who you call 'hunky', 'cos you've got the wrong guy. I mean, sexy hunk? Someone else did call me a sex beast which was even more worrying.

In Easter 1996 Edition

Background Information

The end of an era. Or somet. This was the very final Corporal Punishment. Still it brings back some memories, not least of our erstwhile editor who really did have a habit of getting drunk and calling me a sexy hunk for some unknown reason. Wonder whatever happened to her...


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