The Hydra Files Rant 'n' Rave: Europap

I had this one in the can. I wrote about Scottish money. Maybe I'll print that one in a different issue. However, something has been annoying me, and for once, it's not those red doors in the hall. Or even that the only common area where you can eat is the canteen, of D3/D4, which get full.

Winge winge, moan, moan. (Read in strong Northern accent) Eeh by gum, when I was lad it were all different. We had green tiles, an' could eat in hall. An we didn't have teachers shoutin' at students to be quiet 'cos they were in quiet study area, but they made more noise than students did.

No, what I am annoyed about is the state of the music that we, as patrons of the arts are subjected to these days. On one hand we have good bands with some hint of originality, mainly on the indie side. Examples: Blur, Pulp, Out Of My Hair (entire college goes WHO?) and Oasis, though I hate to point this out to Noel, but you are not the best band in the universe. The cocky bands who think they are the 'bees-knees' are the ones who last for a couple of years before disappearing into nowt. You are not the best, and it is very vain of you to think so.

Anyway, on the other side, we approach dance music. Unfortunately, here we enter dark waters, as dance acts seem to think that the way to a hit record is to sample an entire song adding some rapping in the middle (Warren G. and Nate Dog's Regulate is a perfect example), or to take a beautiful song, and give it a European dance style to it.

You see, you can take a song, and cover it. You can do a better cover. You can do a cover which gives a whole new twist to the song, like Waiting In Vain, by Annie Lennox. She stripped the whole reggae beat from Bob Marley's original, and gave the song a whole new feel.

What What does not make a good cover is stripping the whole song down, putting some crappy vocals on by someone who can't sing, and putting loads of naff synthesiser music in the background. Notable examples are the dance versions of the following: Zombie, American Pie and Total Eclipse Of The Heart by that horrible Dawn French woman.

It doesn't work. It doesn't make a good song. In fact it just shows a complete lack of originality. Worst of all is that N Trance version of "Staying Alive". Pass me the noose please. I can stand it no longer.

In October 1995 Edition

Background Information

There is always bad pop music. There was bad pop music in the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s and now. And indeed the 1990s.

Each set is bad in different ways, but in 1995 we had crappy cover versions. Well much bad pop music consists of crappy cover versions. But these had been put to dreadful Europop beats... It was bad enough to make a man rant...

Incidently, I never did do the Scottish currency piece...


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